The other day I had a seemingly very talented art & design student stop by my office for an interview. Very nice kid whom I’m sure will eventually make a very nice living in the world of web and graphic design. The one thing that made me crazy about the interview was her unpreparedness. Now, before you all blast me for attacking an inexperienced student, let me just say that this post is not meant to be an attack. I’m writing this post in hopes that some bright eyed art & design student might stumble across it and learn something about the interview process. The fact of the matter is that most art schools don’t even bother to teach students how to conduct themselves in a professional environment, so that’s what I’m here to do. Keep in mind that these are just my personal opinions. Please use your own best judgment when following advice from strangers on the interwebs.

1. Don’t pad your resume with BS
OK, so you are young and lack experience, and you want to give your resume a little “zazz”. I totally get it, and I’ve done the same thing. But if you’re interviewing for a graphic arts position (or any related field), don’t bother listing every tiny detail of your current position at Wal-Mart. I know what you do there, you stock shelves and run a register. Don’t tell me that you, “Provided professional and courteous customer support, as well as offered direction to solve customer needs.” Really? All you did was tell the lady where the diapers were, c’mon! Just say you worked at Wal-Mart and handled inventory, stocking, and register duty. That’s it. The rest is BS and I don’t have time for it I’m super busy! If you worked at McDonald’s, just say so! Don’t make it sound like you worked for Chef Gordon Ramsey. You flipped burgers! Guess what? I did too! We all did at some point. It’s OK.

2.Let your portfolio make up for your lack of work experience
You’re applying for a design gig, so regardless of where you worked, I need to see the goods. I want to know that you can sit down in front of a computer screen and get right to work. I don’t want to have to tell you where the brushes are in Photoshop. Your portfolio says to me that you know what you’re doing, and dammit you do it good! This will make up for any lack of work experience in your resume.

3. Only show me the good stuff
You might have four years worth of art to show me, but guess what? Nine times out of ten the first three years of art are junk. I don’t want to see it. I want to see what you did in the last six months, and out of the last six months I only want to see the absolute best of it. Your portfolio should not have fifty pieces in it, maybe ten or twelve but no more than that. Frankly I’d rather see five dynamite pieces than a dozen mediocre ones. Trust me, less is more.

4. OMG put your work on a CD-Rom
Once you widdle your work down to the best of the best, take photos, or scan them and put them on a disc. Please do not come into my office with a 5′x3′ painting of your cat, or a 40″x28″ print of your digital work. Put it all on a disc. My office is small and my desk barely fits in the room as it is. Leave that big stuff at home! I can just look at your stuff on my computer. Oh, and when you save the files, make sure they are jpegs, and please save them at a decent size. No tiny thumbnails or fancy carousels, just regular boring jpegs no smaller than 800x600px. Don’t make me think too hard because frankly I’m probably late for a meeting with the boss as it is, so don’t come in and make me learn how to look at your work, just present it. Fancy is not better, it is mostly just annoying.

5. Never apologize for your work
Under no circumstances should you ever apologize for your work. You are trying to show me that you are the best applicant for the job. If you tell me that “oh I’m srry my work is so bad I will gets better sumdayz” guess what? You don’t get hired. I’m not saying that you should walk in like the king or queen of design, but show some pride in your work! It will go a long way.

6. Have a website before the interview
If you don’t have a website with your work on it right now, I will not even consider hiring you. IMHO, you must have an online portfolio. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive, but I need to be able to find your work online. Not on Facebook, but on a website designed to display artwork. There are tons of free online portfolio sites to choose from. I recommend that you go to WordPress.com and sign up for a free blog. Post your work there. It isn’t perfect, but at least your work is out there. Maybe I’ll be impressed and I’ll subscribe to your feed and call you back in six months. Without a website, you’ll never know. I guarantee that your paper resume will be in the trash by the end of the day.

7. Have a professional email address
Gmail is the current standard. Hotmail is not. If you have an AOL address, you are not right for this job. Don’t use your school email either. That will be deleted when you graduate, and then I can never email you again. And for the love of all things holy, if your email is vulgar, nonsensical, or just plain stupid, I will not hire you. Megasexkitten-at-someEmail-dot-com is a disaster. Change it immediately.

8. Clean up your Facebook page
Yes I will be searching for you on Facebook, Twitter, et all. If you have a photo gallery of you beer bonging anything, or flashing your inappropriately placed tattoos, or your profile pic is you making that god-awful “duck-face” that girls always make, I will not hire you. ‘Nuff said.

9. Take a bath
This is an office, you can’t be a smelly art kid in the real world. If you wake up the morning of the interview and wonder if you should brush your teeth, the answer is yes.

10. Relax
Look, I was a dumb kid with no experience once too. We all were. Don’t be so nervous! My resume was probably worse than yours is. Just chill out, be yourself, and things should go fine. We all have to start somewhere, right?